Things are not always what they seem…

Ah, how refreshing to see another blog started with a cliché. 

Freeman Teague Jr., now better known as Gypsy Teague, said, “Nothing is so simple it cannot be understood”, I have no idea what that means!

I often wonder, is anything simple at all anymore?  We have so many different points of views and ways of expressing said views that it seems every interaction more than “who won the Monday night football game?” has some complexity.   Freeman/Gypsy Teague is a transgender female author.   I found irony that someone with such a complex life would have their name attached to a famous quote about misunderstanding, it seems so fitting.

 I personally dream of existing in a time where communication came very natural and people were upfront and honest while maintaining a healthy level of transparency, however, I like having a microwave and a DVR function on my cable box.  As I have studied different forms of communication, in the classroom and in real life interactions, I can’t help but think, now and days, we all have an agenda.

 We are the first ones to raise our hands and agree that we have transparency in our lives and that we communicate openly, truthfully and above all effectively.  That alone proves that communicating the truth (I find that synonymous with transparency as it relates to communication) is a complex task in itself.  The news and media surround us with business people, athletes, soccer moms, educators and presidents who all claim transparency, their claim alone is a contradiction. 

 In the many stages of our lives we see a breakdown in communication which can often cause exponential problems.  It can be something minor like not telling the trooper who pulled you over how fast you ‘know’ you were going, which provokes him/her to hand a ticket over to you that much quicker.  On a more complex scale it can be a husband not telling his wife he thinks their relationship is lacking or his wife not successfully receiving his message of discontent which can ultimately lead to infidelity.

 As I write I see my message is becoming somewhat ambiguous (maybe not), only proving my point.   Take this as you will, regardless of what I say or how I say it, everyone is going to make their own assumptions and determinations.  We often perceive things how we choose to regardless of they are communicated to us, no matter how hard we try to be translucent in our messages we have to realize that while transparency in our messages and expressions may be the goal, things can often get construed.  Whether it’s a blatant lie, a mistake in the medium we wish to communicate our message through or a lack or over abundance of perceived transparency, miscommunication is one of the few things we can rely on!

 There is nothing profound here in my message, just some thoughts surrounding our ability to think we are communicating affectively, when in reality, the majority of the time we are not!  People communicate 55% by body language, so I guess everyone will have a different perception of what my thoughts really are.

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3 Responses to Things are not always what they seem…

  1. claudiav says:

    I solely agree with your thoughts on people making their own assumptions and determinations, no matter how translucent the message is. I believe this is due to our “mental defense mechanism”, we tend to take in only what we find appealing and leave out what is not of our interest. After we take that piece of thought and discard the rest, we put our own connotation to the words. And here is where communication goes wrong. I feel that if we weren’t trying too much to decrypt the messages communicated to us, transparency in our messages would be present more often. Although everybody has their own opinions and ways of thinking, therefore I agree with you when you say “I guess everyone will have a different perception of what my thoughts really are.” I guess the same will happen with these thoughts.

  2. KirkH says:

    I agree with you that transparency in communication is lacking in today’s society. I believe that is has a great deal with people either having a lack of knowledge of a situation. For example, if someone from a different culture begins talking to you in broken English with a smile on your face, you will most likely begin to nod your head and agree with them because of their attitude on the subject (even though you did not comprehend what they stated). Or, in the example about the lack of communication in the marriage, the man just did not know how to express to his wife that he was unhappy. These situations are from the lack of knowledge from one’s preparation for a situation like this. Also, like stated in the post, most people will respond to the body language that is given. With today’s society being mostly technological, people are losing that “55%” and lose the majority of the way that people communicate, which causes a lack of transparency as well.

  3. wwesterlind says:

    Great blog article! In my opinion in order to live a fully truthful life, one must live an ethic lifestyle. In order to adapt this into one’s lifestyle, they must make ethical decision big and small (like you mentioned in your post). The messages we relay to people must be clear, and convey nothing less than the absolute truth. I believe that like many things in life, dishonesty can become a habit if practiced often. This is why we should all strive to make honesty not only a given virtue, but a mandatory element in our every day life. My last thought about your blog is this. The ability to communicate effectively relies on one’s full understanding of the message being communicated, their personal beliefs about the message set aside, and an understanding that what they say can effect others in negative or positive ways depending on which moral avenue they wish to walk down.

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